Three Fishy stories...

“I would read my new book but I need to update my facebook… my facebook? I mean… my thing….
BLOG! BLOGGITY BLOG BLOG!”

Wow, my vocabulary has suffered from all the Kongrish I’ve been speaking lately, (for those of you unfamiliar with Kongrish; it is the simplified English mixed with a dose of Korean basics, which can pretty much be used to get you by living in Korea.)

I wanted to tell some stories, just a couple of funny and odd moments. Completely coincidentally, the three stories I ended up writing all appear to have a sort of “fishy” theme. This is completely unintentional but does make me chuckle as I present to you; Korea, in all its “fishy” glory.

Makgeolli

Makgeolli; a foul drink served in massive pots, which they say is made from rice (much like many Asian alcoholic beverages) and as Andrew so delicately puts it; “It tastes like the water you collect from your drain pipes.”

Obviously you don’t drink it for its taste. It can be perceived as a Korean drinking game of sorts. The more you drink; the more free food they bring you. Once you have drunk a good few rounds, (enough to make the rest of your night a bit of a haze) out comes the grand prize…

THE LIVE OCTOPUS!



Not really something I imagine anyone (other than Koreans) really eats for any other purpose other than to film it and show friends back home to be honest.

Dr.Fish

When I first heard about this it was all I could think about, I just HAD to do it.
Little fish that eat dead skin; do I need to say more to sell this? Little fishies that will give you a pedicure for less than the cost of a cup of coffee.

This is the reality: Little fish are EATING YOUR FEET! Its like a horror movie; you dip your feet in to be attacked by hundreds of hungry little fish; lets be honest, that’s just plain scary.

Ok so I’m over –reacting, once you actually get used to the sensation of the tiny teeth sort of kissing and nibbling at you, it sort of just tickles. When your twenty minutes are up your feet feel all the better for the strange experience they just went through.

Tuna

Alarm bells should have been ringing in my head when my boss first invited us out for a dinner of raw tuna. I’ve learned by now that the Korean way is never the way you expect but somehow learning never seems to stop me.

The night started off as I expected. We sat at a bar and were instantly served sushi; the very normal kind, rectangles of rice with raw tuna delicately laid across it, served with wasabi and soy sauce (delicious to say the least). Next course was also pleasant and interesting, a plate of cold stones, covered in different cuts of tuna, quite an enjoyable experience learning the different textures one fish has to offer. Once we had eaten as much raw fish as we could and were ready to move on to a bar; the chef insists on bringing us a little gift (Service as the Koreans love to call it.)

Out comes, I’m not joking with you here and how I wish I had taken a photo, an entire tuna head. Yes, I said HEAD; cooked up in some shape or form and chopped and crumbled in front of our very eyes. The chef even stood and watched us with enjoyment as we politely dug into the collapsing skull. We did discover that if you close your eyes and pretend your food isn’t grinning at you, it does taste pretty much like a basic tuna steak.

So we’re done, finished, ready to go, oh no of course not, the service is actually yet to come. The chef brings over a beautiful tea pot and a couple of shot glasses; he then proceeds to pour out shots while our boss explains that we will be drinking… wait for it… alcoholic tuna tears… with gold flakes. Now I enjoy cocktails and shots but this is just plain ridiculous.

A shout out of “one shot” and down the hatch it goes. Now I’ve just swallowed something that I feel can only be described as flemmy and potent and I’m ready to grab the first thing I see to drink or chew just to forget about what was now entering my digestive system.

I open my eyes (did I mention my eyes were closed? No never mind). I open my eyes to see a piece of food being held in front of my mouth. I grab, chew and swallow without a moment of hesitation. The second I hear myself gulp down the mysterious food, I begin to wonder what it is I’ve just eaten. My boss, already laughing at me, proceeds to inform me that I had just eaten tuna BRAIN… Now I’m not sure if my next discovery makes it better or worse but the chef informs my boss that he is mistaken and that it was in fact the tendon behind the tuna’s eye.

Now I’m done, finished and ready to go, full of raw tuna, tuna head, tuna tears, tuna eye tendon. I’m done with tuna for a while to say the least...

... and with fish in general if I'm honest.

Blog grooming. Injoy it.

Writing something like a blog or a diary is hard. Not necessarily the act of writing it or finding the words, more that it needs to be maintained; like a pet or a garden. If it goes unkempt or forgotten, even for a short while… its death is pretty imminent.

I recently re-discovered this old blog, to find that it was so out of date, I wouldn’t even know where to begin on the next entry; almost made me want to scrap it and start all over again but that just felt like a waste of words. So how do you begin a story that actually takes place over seven months without boring the life out of the reader or yourself?

I was nearing an entire year of nothing other than a couple of unsteady shifts, frustrations, arguments and boredom that was only held together by video games, a couple of faithful friends and the hope that things would soon improve. I had finally had enough, the fear that this cycle would continue on for another year was far too great to just sit back and watch it happen. So long story short, I signed a contract, packed my bags and left the country; trying my hardest not to look back. The flight took me back to a country I hadn’t visited since the day I left in 1995 (I think that’s when I left at least), Australia. Those few weeks were great and almost tempted me to never leave.

I have been thinking for days, trying to find the right way to word my time in Australia. The problem is Australia was nice, the people were nice, the weather was nice, my family and friends were nice, the food was nice; hardly going to make the most exciting read really. I had a great time out there, I wasn’t a tourist, I didn’t do tourist things, I was at home meeting family and seeing a different life that kind of motivated me to work towards a goal that I didn’t even know I wanted until then. So I guess I’ll leave it at that; Australia was nice for a lack of a better word or thesaurus.

Onto another plane and over to Taipei, which had very little to offer me other than a night of being delusional in a motel room and waking up sitting in a bath with a cup of green tea and a diary entry next to me at about 4am very confused. Nothing to tempt me to stay any longer, next plane, next stop South Korea.

I arrived only to be stopped by sniffer dogs; I laughed, thinking it was because I had been carrying brie in my bag, after a quick explanation the security guard laughed and let me go… in hindsight; I realise I was using my brothers old backpack which might have been the cause of attention. I was re-united with Andy, hopped on a bus to Jeonju and, well, everything between then and now is a bunch of short stories; anecdotes and a lot of boring work related moments.

So long story short, here I am, teaching English in the city of Jeonju of South Korea. I live in a small apartment with my boyfriend Andy; I go to work and teach children English (to the ones who listen at least) and live a slightly more exciting life than the one I was living when I had all the time in the world to maintain a blog.

Images: © Leora Bermeister